So I have been off work for about a month, in that time I have had few good days and several bad days, creeping into a depressive state; not experienced before.
Good days have included a house viewing and a mortgage application (successful but still attempting to find the perfect home – we saw one home but it had a mould issue and may have been too much work 😭) The disapointment of knowing we wouldn’t be getting this in need of work dream home led to insomnia 🌞🌙🌞🌙🌞
Bad days have included, sleep, neglecting myself in forms of not brushing hair or eating, and just sleeping. I have deferred another University Module, but I have made positive changes and next “years” Uni (october 2017) I have chosen two modules that will replace the credits at level 2 I should be finishing now, but now these new ones will focus on Mental Health and get me where I want to be.
I have made some positive steps in the last week, finally had my second referall telephone call from the primary mental health team….Why do they always ask ‘so tell me whats been going on’ Yh hello you have a referral letter telling you that and it is difficult to say it out loud. 😳😳 I don’t think they were expecting me to have so many issues and history of so many problems 😒
Went back to the GP and I am now on a new medication to try, After my hair problem from previous meds I had decided no more meds but the Primary Mental Health Care team made me realise that this is a part of me and if there is something that can reduce anxiety and panic then I should try it.
- I want to smile,
- I want to be happy,
- I want to not worry,
- I want to speak out and do talks and help speak out for those that need encouragement,
- I want to inspire,
- I want to have more confidence
- I just want to be happy……..
I have also been sent a self help book from the Team for anxiety – so I will blog on that once I have read it!
🤔 I do have some exciting news too, BUT for now it has to be kept under wraps as it only fuels gossip and I find people talk about me enough as it is; without fuelling their fire 🔥🔥 🤔
We are heading on Holidays soon, camping and driving each day, it is about time we travel the Country we live in – North Wales here we come!!