One thing I have always wanted to do is write a book, my english and grammar is not great but that is why proof reading is a must!!
I finally put pen to paper and started an introduction and chapter ideas.
I want this book to be personal, yet helpful and of course the main topic in the discussion is my most passionate subject; Mental Health.
I want to be a person that makes a difference, if I can change the life of just one person then I can be happy.
I also put up an important image on my social media which I will also put here ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
I have no idea how to publish a book and whether it will be a e-book or hardcopy but a dream of mine has always been to see a book in a shop with my name on it. Who knows, maybe this will just be something I write and keep safe or it could just be the start of something amazing.
What topics would you want to see covered in a book about mental health?
So having spent the last two days in the bed I have got myself up and retreated to the sofa to watch tv with my pooch and wife.
So I have not left the house but it is cold and the effort to get dressed is too much.
I have been thinking about my Sertraline, whilst there have been several days or events I have attended and I am less anxious or OCD symptoms have subsided- I find myself having more bad days and a cycle or really happy days where the world is my oyster, I can sign up for races and challenges and do loads of Uni work along with extra courses and enquiring about new courses to do. But then everything comes crashing down, sometimes for no reason at all and a couple of times something has triggered a downward spiral.
I saw the CMHT and have been discharged from their service after the assessment for re-referral from the GP if I need them. Although they have suggested some treatment but no point referring until I have moved as it is different health trusts. They have also suggested my medication is changed- saw a GP but not my usual Doctor as she wasn’t working but my dose has been increased to the max dose of 200mg to try and if then there is no improvement then we will need to switch medications. I had over two months worth of tablets here so I would rather try the high dose rather than waste the tablets by returning them to be destroyed by the pharmacy.
I am really weary and nervous about switching do a different medication because I don’t know what to expect. I am scared to side effects like my hair breaking and falling out that Citalopram caused. I’m scared it will affect my work, relationship or driving, along with fertility and weight. I am just scared.
I am positive about the work I am doing to secure a future in Mental Health for myself but I feel my own mental health is an unsolved mystery and I don’t want to live like this anymore. I want to be happy and I want to teach; stand up in a room and present, attend parties without heart palpitations and sweating like I have had a bucket of water thrown over me. I want to get up and get out and not hide in the house and do nothing, or think about ways to hurt myself or force weight off or even give up and pile weight on.
Although on a positive note I start bereavement counselling this month. After so many losses in the past 14 years and not grieving or speaking about them I think it is the right time to start healing those wounds. But only time will tell.
After a few months of silence here I am, although I have been slapped in the face with a ‘bad mental health day’.
Now I cannot go into the reasons for this but I woke up this morning after a night of tossing, turning and very strange dreams. Anxiety and depression have come and hit me right in the face-meaning no work for me today.
My anxiety is being made worse also by the fact that I feel like I am letting people down because I’m not in work, when I should be.
I don’t really know what to do, I am a bit lost if I am honest. I work and I study ( which I have always done so the added work from Uni keeps my brain active and benefits me) but my health both physically and mentally is taking its toll on me.
I know I will get there but maybe a bad mental health day is the minds way of saying stop- take some time to yourself.
These are todays plans (apart from switching to tea as I don’t drink tea or coffee) ;
Tomorrow is a new day. Let’s see how it goes.