As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.
Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!
Letter 19 – To My Mother,
I upset my mother once because I didn’t have any pictures of “us together” on my Facebook page. I draw your attention to the featured image for this post, posted on my Facebook page on May 8th, 2010.
I also upset my mother when I didn’t involve her in my wedding planning, especially the dress fitting ( I measured myself and ordered the dress online-I couldn’t afford the whole bridal dress shop thing and even if I could nobody would have come because I lived in Carmarthen and everyone would have been “too busy” as always for me, it also would have been too far to travel.
Another time I upset Sue was when I didn’t inform her I had a first date with my now wife- we never had the type of relationship that would involve me sharing this.
In brief, there were several other times I upset Sue:
- Not telling her I was engaged straight away.
- Not telling her “I was gay” even though I identify as bisexual and have always indicated since a young age that anyone can fall in love with anyone and I am open to that. #lovenotgender
- Telling her to leave me alone when the harassment got too much.
- Telling the Police about her harassment when she wouldn’t listen the first goodness knows how many times.
- When she was sat at the end of the bridal table. It was me and Anna in the middle with my father and an amazing lady that walked Anna down the aisle, then gran and my Best Friend then siblings and Sue sat with my young sibling. Oh, and did I mention that she could not sit next to my Brother and she wasn’t a fan of my gran or dad so in all fairness, she is lucky she sat there at all because that plan took us ages to find a way to make everyone happy.
You may have noticed that I have switched from Mother to Sue. Don’t get me wrong I do love her but she brought me into the world. Having lost a parent I do not agree with cutting out parents from your life but I am also not a huge believer in keeping people in your life when they make it negative.
I think I could write a book about our ‘relationship’ but I got to a point in life where I had to say ‘enough is enough’ And that is what I did.
So I leave you with this quote, because I am sure the time will come when I want to explain further into this topic.
But I will not say sorry, yes I have made mistakes but we all do and we learn from them.