Posted in Mental Health

Mental Health Monday – Monday August 27th 2018

Another quote for you; my plan is to give mental health images or quotes every other week to break up the information in the other weeks. Although this could change.

#youcandothis

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Posted in Mental Health

Mental Health Monday – Monday August 20th 2018

Hello to another Mental Health Monday;

Today I want to discuss one of my ‘pet peeves’ about mental health.

  • “If you need anything I’m here”
  • “Hope you are ok”
  • “My door is always open”
  • “I/We care and are here for you”
  • “Love you”
  • Etc….

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via GIPHY

I am sorry but personally I have been told this and seen it so much. It is utter BS!! very few people care. I spent 7 months – YES 7 MONTHS at home off sick with my mental health and I had 2 visitors!! 2 – now you say this is better than none but only one of those visitors actually asked how I was.

Please let me know I am not alone with these frustrating phrases and how I feel about them? if you do not suffer with mental or physical health difficulties, or you do but you feel it doesn’t impact you much please PLEASE PLEASE be thoughtful when you share these ‘raising awareness’ or ‘my door is always open’ posts – because realistically is that the case. I have tried to force people to visit me just for the sake of seeing them and having someone to speak to but 99.9% of the time there is an excuse, someone else or something else is more important or you just do not care.

Please tell me I am not the only frustrated one??

 

 

Posted in About Me, Mental Health

Trying to remember the ‘old me’

If you haven’t seen the featured image on this post then here it is again;

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This was me in 2011 the night before I flew away to Norway for 6 months of volunteering, an impulsive but life-changing decision that I would definitely do again.

By this point in my life ( 20 Years Old!!) I had experienced my fair share of death and loss, anorexia, bulimia, self harm and abuse. Most recently I had experienced heartbreak and had moved back to the family home. I was getting by (luckily) by not having to pay rent and working a caring job and bar work and Christmas jobs at Marks and Spencer!!

Fast forward to me now and things are very different, but I do miss the ‘old me’ – I was sat thinking about this the other night and then it dawned on me that I could not really remember the old me.

The old me;

  • Happily worked at least 2/3 jobs as well as study.
  • Only experienced pain when I injured myself.
  • Was a little anxious but got on with things.
  • Could cope with 2 hours sleep and get up and head out for the day.
  • Exercised several times a week.
  • Had people around me.
  • Was motivated and enthusiastic about my future. ( The inability to get into Nursing or Midwifery at Uni started this downhill spiral).
  • Could get by day-to-day without anxiety, depression, illness, pain or life getting in the way.
  • Was happy (ish)

Don’t get me wrong there are positives in life now, but the fact that I looked back to remember the old me and I couldn’t, really hit me. Looking at 2017-Present Day it is difficult to see how a bout of anxiety and depression and other difficulties has made me change so much as a person and made me a shadow of my former self. Factors such as physical illness, workplace bullying, mental health and the realisation of what happened to me as a younger person throughout my life only just becoming a reality and really getting in the way has made me change. I am still unsure whether this change is completely good or not, yes I do get very anxious and depressed, I am in pain a lot of the time and struggle to get to sleep, stay asleep and function normally but I find it so hard to discuss these things as people simply do not understand. You can be the most caring person in the world but unless you have experienced certain things you really cannot understand them. I am tired, it is not tiredness that will be fixed by a decent nights sleep, although that would most likely help it is not going to cure everything. I lie in bed and have to have the tv on in the background because otherwise my mind is at 100000000 miles an hour, it hurts, it is tiring and sometimes scary and upsetting.

I am a shadow of my former self.

I am a working progress.

I do have a plan.

I am working on it.

Just bare with me.

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Posted in Mental Health

Mental Health Monday – Monday August 6th 2018

Today’s post is a new edition!! Planned to run every Monday until the end of 2018 (maybe even longer) I hope that I can get a post out each Monday, however this may change depending on circumstances.

Todays post is: 5 Ways to Wellbeing. Brought to you from Mind (You can find the post here). But here are some screenshots;

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AND REMEMBER;

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Posted in Life, Mental Health

Today I did the dishes

Today’s accomplishment was the fact that I did the dishes, well the dirty ones we have used anyway.

I have not included all the stuff still packed in boxes that has to be washed before it is put away, purely because it has been in boxes so long it is dusty and needs a good soak!!

I still feel like cr*p and my chest hurts, not to mention I still cannot hear out of one ear!! My body hurts, each joint hurts, especially my knees – must be a sign of getting older and being overweight!! With the infection and cough running has been a big no-no so please do not ask how my half marathon training is going!!

On that note, if you can spare any pennies I would massively appreciate any donations to my page ( see link below ) every single penny goes to Mind – for better mental health.

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If you are a UK Tax Payer, please remember to tick the gift aid box.

https://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/StacieMai

Today I may have stayed in the house and only done the dishes, but I got up and did something – I could have stayed in bed all day!!

Posted in Health

Some things learnt when I temporarily lost hearing in one ear;

As you may or may not know I went back to work after about 7 months off; I lasted 2 weeks and came down with a horrendous viral infection that of course went straight to my chest….then my throat, nose and then boom……….

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Suddenly I had no hearing in my right ear. I thought it was due to the infection and thought it was running its course, I left it about 5/6 days before I went to see my GP (I needed a note for work anyway) and I have an ear infection. I don’t really remember having them as a child and as an adult I had a few painful incidents behind my ear but nothing like this. Even though my other ear still has hearing it has always been a bit muffled (although hearing tests have always been ok) so now I find I cannot use my mobile unless it is on loudspeaker, the house phone is a definite no and volumes on everything are higher than they usually are – plus the subtitles are being used most of the time.

I know it is only temporary (I think!!) but I have learnt some things about hearing loss.

Cherish what senses you have because when you lose one of them (even if temporary) it has a major impact that most people will not understand. I have missed ‘I love you’s’, the dogs asking to go out for a pee, phone calls and a lot of words being spoken.

I have learnt that when people say they have an ear infection, they can really be struggling, I understand the medical aspects of ear infections but realistically had no idea the impact it has on your body when your hearing deteriorates.

Also, ear pain really hurts!! Not only does the inside of my ear hurt, but the outside. My neck is sore and my head throbs and the bone behind my ear is all big and painful. I am hoping to be back in work on Monday (touch wood) I just hope my hearing returns as I am usually struggling to understand and hear people anyway, having hearing in only one ear is making life difficult. My fingers are crossed for my antibiotics to kick in and help

I do not live with hearing loss every day of my life and I really admire those of you that live a life of limited or no hearing. I think this was my wake up call to really sit down and learn Sign Language, I have been saying since primary school I want to learn but never have.