Posted in About Me, Life

Why learning is important to me and how it’s impacted my life? – The Short Version….

I have decided to answer this question;

Why is learning important to you and how has it impacted your life?


  • In my second Primary School I met my best friend.
  • In Secondary School I went skiing in France, visited Italy and had an audience with the Pope (and thousands of others), visited New York, Philadelphia and Washington D.C as well as other trips around the UK.
  • In college I adjusted my hours to work and live with my first true love.
  • During University I joined the cheerleading squad, had a miscarriage and learnt to juggle 3 jobs as well as a Full Time Course, before leaving University, with nothing but the experience, 20 University credits and a diagnosis of Meares Irlen Syndrome and Dyspraxia.
  • During my time at my distance learning University I had difficulties with my physical and mental health, finding an online support system in a group format and finding life long friends (even though we have never met!).

Learning is my past, my present and my future.

The points above show some of the life challenges that have accompanied my learning. Without these events occurring hand in hand with learning my life would be very different. I have always been aware of those in the world that have to fight for education, those that are killed because of their fight and those that never experience education. For me, education is a privilege and to be in a country where I am given a free education (well until University anyway!!) is an amazing thing.

Learning has saved me in so many ways, I expressed my eating disorder through my art and escaped to the world of Hogwarts thanks to J.K Rowling. It is important to me to be a good example to my siblings and younger people around me, nobody in my family has been to University and whilst I am definitely taking the long way around gaining a degree, I have been rescued so many times thanks to learning and education. Education has at times been my mother, father, sibling, friend and comforting stranger when nobody else has been around.

At age 17 I started my University applications for Midwifery and Nursing and year after year was unsuccessful, I tried my hand at other things and had to move around a lot to find the work – I was chasing work to build my experience, to better myself for University and I am getting closer to my ultimate dream. There will be struggles and there will be (more) tears but I will do it!!

This Girl Can!!



I am a big believer that we all deserve an education and the right to knowledge and development during our lives, that learning doesn’t have to be University, learning is unique to each of us. Not all of us get the chance, so I grab it with both hands and love the experience. It also keeps me up to date and my brain ticking!! Learning is important to me as it helps me realise what I have overcome and allows me to believe in myself.

Learning has saved me.

Why is learning important to you?

Posted in About Me, Mental Health

Trying to remember the ‘old me’

If you haven’t seen the featured image on this post then here it is again;


This was me in 2011 the night before I flew away to Norway for 6 months of volunteering, an impulsive but life-changing decision that I would definitely do again.

By this point in my life ( 20 Years Old!!) I had experienced my fair share of death and loss, anorexia, bulimia, self harm and abuse. Most recently I had experienced heartbreak and had moved back to the family home. I was getting by (luckily) by not having to pay rent and working a caring job and bar work and Christmas jobs at Marks and Spencer!!

Fast forward to me now and things are very different, but I do miss the ‘old me’ – I was sat thinking about this the other night and then it dawned on me that I could not really remember the old me.

The old me;

  • Happily worked at least 2/3 jobs as well as study.
  • Only experienced pain when I injured myself.
  • Was a little anxious but got on with things.
  • Could cope with 2 hours sleep and get up and head out for the day.
  • Exercised several times a week.
  • Had people around me.
  • Was motivated and enthusiastic about my future. ( The inability to get into Nursing or Midwifery at Uni started this downhill spiral).
  • Could get by day-to-day without anxiety, depression, illness, pain or life getting in the way.
  • Was happy (ish)

Don’t get me wrong there are positives in life now, but the fact that I looked back to remember the old me and I couldn’t, really hit me. Looking at 2017-Present Day it is difficult to see how a bout of anxiety and depression and other difficulties has made me change so much as a person and made me a shadow of my former self. Factors such as physical illness, workplace bullying, mental health and the realisation of what happened to me as a younger person throughout my life only just becoming a reality and really getting in the way has made me change. I am still unsure whether this change is completely good or not, yes I do get very anxious and depressed, I am in pain a lot of the time and struggle to get to sleep, stay asleep and function normally but I find it so hard to discuss these things as people simply do not understand. You can be the most caring person in the world but unless you have experienced certain things you really cannot understand them. I am tired, it is not tiredness that will be fixed by a decent nights sleep, although that would most likely help it is not going to cure everything. I lie in bed and have to have the tv on in the background because otherwise my mind is at 100000000 miles an hour, it hurts, it is tiring and sometimes scary and upsetting.

I am a shadow of my former self.

I am a working progress.

I do have a plan.

I am working on it.

Just bare with me.



Posted in About Me

Such great news!!

I am warning you, if you hate people that say they have news but then they don’t reveal it, then this post IS going to annoy you!!

On the 28th of June 2018 I was given some exciting, happy and life changing news and I just want to shout it out from the roof top.

You will come to understand later in the Year why I cannot say anything at the moment but I now know what my life will be like in 5-10 years time!! I have fought and fought so long for this and people will not understand but I live so much of my life caring for others and not doing what I wanted and needed to do but doing things for the wellbeing of others. NOW IS MY TIME!!!!

To be continued….

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Posted in About Me, Life, Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 17th May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 17 – To the younger me

If I could go back and tell my ‘younger self’ something, it would be;

“Stand up for yourself, Leave and don’t be scared.”

This post is very short and to the point, but I watched something the other day and they were talking about their younger self and regrets, and it got me thinking about what I would tell my younger self. I had great moments in my childhood but I also had terrible times-By the time I hit my teens, I had experienced so much more than many people my age and I had to mature very quickly.

Maybe take a moment now and think about what you would tell your ‘younger self’.

What would you say??


Posted in About Me, Life, Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 15th May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 15 – To The Mighty

I first Discovered The Mighty a few years back, and have written some pieces for the site.

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If you haven’t seen the website, please head over to the site as there are several pieces about life with chronic conditions, written by us!! real people who are living with these conditions every day. There are also pieces about parenting and lifestyle.

The Mighty has helped me through times when I needed something to do to take away negative feelings, helped me when I have been confused and helped me learn about my conditions and allowed me to find a community that actually understands-rather than those that just say they understand for the sake of it.

It is definitely worth a look, even if you are a parter, friend or relative of someone who suffers from difficulties, there is something there for you too!!

Coming up in tomorrow’s letter; Embracing your Needs – With Help from The Mighty.

Posted in About Me, Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 9th May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 9 – To my dogs.

My little ‘Mexican Shits’ who like to go out and then come in and pee by the back door!!

You cuddle me and show affection. I talk to you and feel that you listen and understand. People may think I am crazy but if you have never owned a dog you wouldn’t understand (unless you do not like dogs, but you have an equally loving cat or another animal). Science proves that being near a pet can help your mental and physical health as well as helping the animals’ health.

I had dogs on and off growing up but for years I wanted a Chihuahua, they are small and cute and feisty little things, with their little tails and little ears and bubbly personality I loved them.

We got our first girl from Gumtree and whilst she had been with this family for a week or two she was still young, most probably too young to be away from her Mam, but I had to have her!! We now have another puppy, found on the internet from a breeder-they have a love hate relationship and love to wind each other up, but they do love each other and there is nothing I love more when I am having a bad day that cwtches from these two.

It may sound silly, but my dogs definitely have saved me!! I love them!!

People may call Chihuahuas ‘rats’ but they are one of the most loyal and loving breeds I have ever known.

Posted in About Me, Mental Health

The memory of a child and how it had an impact on my life.

I remember a lot from when I was younger, but there are two distinct memories that are embedded in my mind, I did not know it at the time, but these memories played a part in mapping out my future.

The first memory involves me being in a car, I was being told if I cried and said I did not want to go and see my dad just say so and I could go to McDonalds. I was young and did not understand what was going on- I thought my father was mean and that I shouldn’t go near him. I liked McDonalds, so I cried….

I do not remember if a mobile phone was involved or if I was taken into a building or left in the car, that part is a blank. I remember if I cried I got McDonalds.

The second memory I am a bit older and I remember being told I could not go to my father’s funeral because of a few reasons, one being “there will be too many men there” so I did not go to my father’s funeral. At that point in life I didn’t really know about cremation, I presumed everyone was buried-I had only been to one funeral before, my Grandads’ and he was buried. I presumed that if I had no choice over going to the funeral it would be ok because there would be a grave I could go to. It turns out this was not the case either as my father was cremated and his ashes scattered.

I have been told that I am a liar and these memories are imaginary because they did not happen, but I remember them clearly, I can see them if I close my eyes. I may forget what I went upstairs for but these two memories I remember clearly.

What I did not know was that me being in the car that day, was because I was due to see someone (I don’t know if it was a judge or social services) however I know that this one decision had an impact on who ‘won’ custody of me. Of course I had a lot of good things happen to me growing up, I have four younger siblings that I love, but if I could go back to this day I would not have cried for that McDonalds and I would have gone to my Dads’ funeral. Judge me if you want but I was young and knowing what I know now, my father was not “dirty”, “bad” or “nasty” – he was my dad and he loved me.

The same goes for the second memory, apparently it did not happen and I was given a choice, but if that as the case I would never have missed my father’s funeral. These days I get very emotional surrounding death that I believe comes from having a lack of control at a young age when I lost a parent. Yes, I did not see him for about 8 years until he was in hospice care and yes, the parent I lived with got remarried and I have an amazing step Dad, but I still had another father. I have two dads (not in the sense of same sex parents) but my biological dad and my step dad (although I do not like the phrase step dad, he is my dad too).

As a child/young person, we aren’t always given freedom or choice, perhaps it is for protection or to maintain our innocence, but I draw the line on decisions being made for a child on the opinions of the decision maker-they should be made for the best of the child.

My bereavement for the loss of my father has only just begun recently and it has been 15 years. I never grieved, I didn’t want to, I was scared and did not want to show emotion in front of a certain person.

I have not forgiven myself for not standing up for myself, for not giving evidence in a custody battle, or going to that funeral and I don’t think I ever will. My life would have been so different if I stood up for myself.

Posted in About Me, Mental Health

Doing some research and BAM there is my face….

I was doing some research for you lovely people and went to the Mind webpage then all of a sudden I see my face on the home page;

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I knew my story would go live but I did not expect to see my face at 01:00AM when scrolling through the internet.

I feel honoured that I can share my experiences online and especially through Mind as they have helped me so much.

you can read my story by clicking the links below- my story is available in both English and Welsh.



❤ Stay Strong ❤


Posted in About Me, Mental Health

I am only 27….

I am only 27 years old (or young!) and I have lived through

  • Emotional Abuse and Bullying

  • Physical Abuse and Bullying

  • Self Harm

  • Anorexia

  • Bulimia

  • Binge Eating Disorders

  • Suicidal Thoughts

  • Loss of a Parent

  • Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

  • Anxiety

  • Depression

And you know what? I am still here!! Mental Illness is a difficult, harsh and life changing problem.


You can do it!! We are here for each other, if you are having a bad time, speak to someone – You can do it!!

Posted in About Me, Life, Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 1st May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 1 – To the family members that decide to block me on social media and ignore my friend requests.

They say if people ‘unfriend’ you on social media or online groups then to let it go and move on. That is easier said than done if you want nothing more than a family around you. There are certain family members that I do not really know but have met in the past and genuinely like. Yet you unfriend, ignore and block me-well I have one thing to say to you – GO F*CK YOURSELF!!
Just because you may have your family, your friends, children, pets and marriages you don’t need me anymore. I have “Family” that have invited me to events, reunions, weddings, funerals, gatherings, “piss ups” or other get-togethers, but they have also failed to invite me when you have invited the rest of the family. This is fair enough as you may not want me there- I may have forgotten to invite you to events but if I have then I am sorry and may have genuinely forgot because of ‘brain fog’. Also, do not bother saying you forgot or thought I was busy yet say something completely different to other family members or mutual friends.
I am sorry but not all of us had the perfect upbringing and have a loving and ‘together’ family. I went out of my way to help and talk to certain people and you repay me by blocking me on social media, then you unblock me but stop me adding you as a friend or sending messages to check how you are doing.
All I have ever wanted is a loving and caring family, but certain people within the family think they can just ignore me and throw me to the side, I have gone my whole life not knowing my family tree and who I am related to and when I do find out and want nothing more than to get to know my family you take it away and play mind games. It really hurts- this has contributed to my mental health greatly as I have lost the little self-identity I have.
I have lost friends, family and parents, all I want in my life is a bit of identity. I want to go over to join in on the family Sunday Lunches. I want nothing more than to send and receive Easter Cards, Christmas Cards, Anniversary Cards and cards for every other event under the sun. I want family, Love and genuine caring. But you fail to give that. Instead, you make me feel unloved, unwanted and unrelated.
You have made me wish I had never been born.
So go ahead get on with your life, but remember you may be caring to others but to me you have done nothing and made me feel like nothing.
Image may contain: 1 person, swimming and close-up




This is all the family I need!!








Posted in About Me, Life, Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 2nd May 2018 – TW

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 2 – To my old colleagues and your opinions on mental health conditions.

TW – This post discusses negative attitudes to Suicide/suicide attempts.

I have worked in several different areas but one thing stands out across all of my work places (in the UK) – is people’s attitude towards mental health.

I have heard colleagues in previous roles laugh about mental health, I have had to be present when these colleagues laugh and say that they ‘obviously hadn’t done the job properly’ and ask why “these people are ringing for help” and saying “if they want to kill themselves then just do it” or that they hadn’t “done the job properly and should do it properly next time instead of wasting time and ringing for help that, according to you is ‘not deserved’ “.

Some of these people laughing even rang in sick to work due to ‘stress and anxiety’ – then continued to ‘make fun and bully’ complete strangers.

Two colleagues in my role were supportive – I won’t put their names here but E and S were very supportive. S took time from his schedule and was so supportive, I appreciate him telling me his story and being so genuine when I asked for support. I wasn’t scared to be me and I was not made to feel like a liar, small or stupid.

S – You saved my life in a way you will never know. Thank You so much xx

  • To my other colleagues, I have sat behind you while you have talked about me.
  • I have been sat on the opposite table working whilst you have talked about me- I use to set my desk high and chair low, so to you it looked like an empty desk but I was there- whilst you mocked my colleagues and me!!
  • You have mocked my size, my mental health, my physical health and conditions, my marriage and LGBTQ issues.
  • You continue to this day to ban, block and ignore me on social media.

You are lucky!! Continuing to be lucky to this day that I did not take formal action and even criminal action against you.

I hope one day you bullies get treated as bad as the treatment you have given. Whilst I try not to ‘hate’ or treat people badly- I will not go out of my way to support bullies and hypocrites.

You contributed to me hating myself – but you will not win!!

Posted in About Me, Books, TV, News and Social Media, Mental Health

The Versatile Blogger Award

I have been quiet the past few days-I have reverted back to my very much hated nocturnal state. But I am back!!


nervous friends GIF
I Hate you nocturnal brain!!

Firstly I would like to thank ‘Babbling Mummy’ for nominating me for The Versatile Bloggers Award!! For those of you that do not know about the award; you get nominated by other bloggers for your blog. Once nominated, you thank them as I have just done (although that is the kind thing to do isn’t it?) and write a short post with some facts about yourself, before nominating other bloggers for the award.

8 Facts about Myself

  1. I really hate certain noises. Also known as Misophonia (although I am not officially diagnosed-one thing at a time!) But do not come near me and crack bones, grind teeth or chew loudly with your mouth open because it makes me feel physically sick.
  2. I Love learning new languages. I speak 2 fluent languages, 1 at an intermediate level and 4 languages I learned when younger and was either fluent or nearly fluent in. I wish I knew so many more languages.
  3. I despise odd Numbers. Really, actually hate them – when I had an eating disorder I couldn’t eat rice without counting the grains.
  4. I was raised as the oldest child, but I actually have an older brother. Plus 3 older half-siblings.
  5. I can easily rewatch the same programme/movie again and again. I don’t think my wife really gets it!! I will happily watch Grey’s Anatomy, The Big Bang Theory, Harry Potter Movies and Friends back to back!!
  6. My dream job would involve mental health, animals and work to my own schedule-ideally from home.
  7. I love watching scary films but equally hate watching them – I am too jumpy and paranoid about reliving the films so I avoid them. Especially when they involve jumpy moments when there’s nothing and then suddenly a scary child screaming at you.  Or the one moment in Harry Potter that scares the daylight out of me – when Harry and Hermione visit Godric’s Hollow and that stupid snake jumps up at the camera!!
  8. I have a massive bucket list (I am planning a post for this in the future) but my top 5 completed bucket list tasks are:
  • Get my wood beads.
  • Achieve my Explorer Belt.
  • Achieve my Gold Duke of Edinburgh Award.
  • Visit Buckingham Palace. (I was awarded my DofE in the Gardens)
  • Live abroad for 6 months to volunteer.


My nominations

Here are my nominations for bloggers that I have discovered that I love to follow and I think they deserve some recognition for their work and writing.


Posted in About Me, Mental Health

One of the worst questions you can ask me….

Well there are several ways to word this question but the basic question that is really one of the worst you can ask me is;

“What has caused your anxiety/depression?”

At this point my head is saying

While there are several incidents, issues, triggers and events that have led to my current situation, the simple answer is ‘I DO NOT KNOW!!’

Quite frankly if I understood it myself I would have a better handle on my situation.

I am studying Mental Health and aim to have a career in the field, but even with my years of studying, assignments and exams – you can know about all the theorists, professors and professionals along with all the knowledge, practices and policies, but that does not mean you know everything. I still do not understand me.

It really distresses me and upsets me when people start to question me, I get embarrassed because I like having knowledge and when I cannot explain or justify myself it is embarrassing. Especially if there is a person looking at you or smirking, it is intimidating!!

sarcastic season 3 GIF by Ash vs Evil Dead

I am slowly losing the little level of trust I had in people. The way things are said, words being twisted and me being at fault.

I am struggling, not stupid!!

Maybe this journey is something I need to go through, I can already see it leading me towards certain goals. Maybe everything does happen for a reason. Only time will tell.

Posted in About Me, Mental Health

Healthwise Wales

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Healthwise Wales is working to improve the health and wellbeing services for the Welsh population. They ask that we help them by answering questions about health topics and our own information to help them with their work. Whether you have health conditions or are fit and healthy, you can still help them with their work, no matter your age or health status.

I signed up to Healthwise Wales as I thought it was a fantastic idea when I received a work email encouraging us to sign up.

I received a phonecall and was asked if I would be willing to share my experiences, I never thought about a camera and filming taking place (duh….how else will I share my story). But I am glad I took part (even though I forgot half the stuff I wanted to say and forgot at points how to speak Welsh so ended up doing the ‘Wenglish’ version 😉

If you are interested in finding out more information and signing up to Healthwise Wales then go to;

If you click under ‘Research stories’ there you will see my face and the article written.

or click on this link;

You can also register and help Healthwise Wales.

If for some reason you do not want to follow the link, or cannot access it then keep scrolling to read on this page.

The Below Research Story is my story but published by Healthwise Wales;

Stacie-Mai’s Story


A woman from Barry who suffers from anxiety and depression has joined a unique health research initiative in Wales to help fight major diseases, and is urging others to do the same.

26-year-old Stacie-Mai Pemberton has signed up to HealthWise Wales, a flagship study aimed at improving the health and wellbeing of the nation to inform new healthcare treatments in Wales.

It is the first large-scale survey in Wales to build a picture of the health of the nation, using detailed health information gathered from people of all ages to help inform future health service planning.

People aged 16 and over and living in Wales are asked to complete short questionnaires every six months as part of the project, which is led by Cardiff University and backed by the Welsh Government.

Once registered, participants are then invited to help inform relevant health research on specific conditions, their management and treatment.

Stacie-Mai, who works as a peer mentor for Welsh mental health charity Hafal, began to suffer from anxiety and depression when doctors struggled to diagnose her appendicitis.

This, combined with previous insight into different healthcare issues gained while working for the Welsh Ambulance Service, made Stacie-Mai sign up to HealthWise Wales.

She said: “My appendicitis wasn’t a textbook case of the illness, so when I went to the doctors with complaints they struggled to diagnose my illness. I was upset and frustrated and developed depression and anxiety. I was finally diagnosed and operated on, and my appendicitis cured, but I felt very mentally fragile.

“Supporting people who suffer from mental health issues at Hafal has meant that I’ve realised things about my own mental health too. I know now, for example, that there were also more long-term reasons for my depression and anxiety, aside from the appendicitis.

“Trauma from my early childhood, such as losing a parent, have definitely contributed to my mental health issues. Knowledge and education on mental health is vital, which is why I feel so passionate about improving the NHS by supporting initiatives like HealthWise Wales.

“The NHS is a great service, but there is still room for improvement. For this reason, I am committed to initiatives like HealthWise Wales that strive to paint a clearer picture of the changes that need to be made to improve the state of healthcare in Wales, and I’d urge others to do the same.”


Posted in About Me

Q & A Session

I must admit I did not think of this idea myself, I have seen a lot of Q & A sessions over the past two weeks and thought it was a great idea, especially as it gives readers a chance to get to know you, or in this case me 🙂

As Lady Gaga said,

“Here we go!”

1. What are you wearing? It is now past 11PM so I am wearing some very snuggle PJ’s. Very boring really.


2. Ever been in love? I am happily married.

3. Ever had a terrible breakup? Not as bad as some but I have truly had my heart-broken once.

4. How tall are you? 168cm.

5. How much do you weigh? I don’t want to put a number on it as I believe we can focus too much on numbers. I will admit that I am on the cuddly side and Doctors recommend weight loss.

6. Any tattoos? Oh yes!! 14 to be exact and several more planned.

7. Any piercings? I have both my ear lobes pierced, they also have healed second piercings that i could most likely put an earing through if I took the time. I also have both tragus’ pierced, my helix and forward helix on the one ear. I also have my belly button pierced.

8. OTP (One True Pairing)? Not really sure what this question means.

9. Favorite Show? I have a few shows that I watch over and over but my favourite show at the moment is The Big Bang Theory.

10. Favorite Bands:

11. Something you miss? Relatives that have passed.

12. Favorite Songs:

13. How old are you? 26

14. Zodiac Sign? Aquarius

15. Quality you look for in a partner? Honesty.

16. Favorite Quote? Face your fears, Live your dreams, Take the risk and feel the rush. Of course it is one of my tattoos – Done during my time in Norway.

Rib Tattoo

17. Favorite Actor & Actress? Favourite Actor = Daniel Radcliffe and the male TBBT actors / Favourite Actress = Emma Watson and the female TBBT actresses.

18. Favorite Color? Teal.

19. Loud or soft music? In the sense of type then soft but when it comes to listening, loud as my hearing is terrible.

20. Where do you go when you’re sad? Nowhere.

21. How long does it take for you to shower? Depends if I am washing/tinting my hair.

22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? Anything from 15-60 Minutes.

23. Ever been in a physical fight? Yeah.

24. Turn on? Good Question….

25. Turn off: Clicking and chewing noises.

26. The reason you joined WordPress? Initially as an anonymous place to rant but now WordPress allows me to support and share my passion to help others.

27. Fears? I am not a huge fan of needles, but I am getting there. I fear death and fear itself.

28. Last thing that made you cry? Where shall I write the list!!

29. Last time you said you loved someone? To my Wife when she went to sleep.

30. Meaning behind your blog name? The first name was bywydpcoslife a mixture of Welsh and English and put my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) at the centre of my problems. Now ‘I am still me no matter what’ portrays the message that mo matter the state of your physical, mental health or environmental factors – you are still you!!

31. The last book you read? An Open University Textbook.

32. The book you’re currently reading? Several Open University Textbooks.

33. Last Show You Watched? Grey’s Anatomy (Watching is in progress….)

34. Last person you talked to? My wife.

35. The relationship between the last person you texted? No relationship, I was texting to stop marketing messages.

36. Favorite Food? Indian Food.

37. Place you want to visit? Everywhere, but mainly Hawaii.

38. Last place you were? In bed.

39. Do you have a crush? My wife of course!!

40. Last time you kissed someone? Earlier.

41. Last time you were insulted? Well….the story would take far too long.

42. Favorite flavor of sweet? Milk Chocolate.

43. What instrument do you play? Piano- I have also taught myself or had some lessons in harp, guitar, violin, clarinet, saxophone, drums and keyboard.

44. Favorite Piece of Jewelry? My Trollbead Bracelet.

45. Last sport you played? Running.

46. Last song you sang? Naked – James Arthur.

47. Favorite Chat Up Line? I hate chat up lines.

48. Have you ever used it? See Above.

49. Last time you hung out with anyone? Today with the dogs.

50. Who should answer this question next? Anyone that wishes to 🙂


Posted in About Me

Where have I been??

There’s me thinking the above GIF would work but obviously not!!

Anyways I have been MIA for a few weeks and boy have things changed!!

I am not keen on change but things are looking up!!

Works going well, Life is going well, one main issue at the moment is Family, I don’t see them very often and it is getting me down. I have also been struggling with grief lately but I will be getting help with that shortly.

But seriously….

Ok that is enough GIF’s now!! (Can you tell I re-downloaded the app?!?!)

Don’t be ashamed to say you aren’t ok, or that you need help, you are important and you should be addressed!!

❤️❤️ You are important ❤️❤️

Posted in About Me, Life

I got put in Instajail :(

Serves me right for not getting up off my but!!

Yesterday I found myself going through loads of Instagram posts from friends and satisfying videos of sand being cut and Lush items being cut etc….

Then I got put in Instajail – Ooops

Lesson learnt – don’t lie in bed feeling ill all day liking posts on Instagram.

My ban on liking only lasted a couple of hours.

My Bad…. I Love you Instagram

Posted in About Me, Life

New Beginnings, New Job!!


I have been ‘quiet’ the last couple of days!! The reason for that is that I have started my new job!!

Monday Morning came and went really quickly and I got home and saw the first positive signs that my meds where helping my anxiety.

  • I walked straight into new building (once someone opened the door)
  • I had no shakes
  • No nerves

I was nervous in the sense of being quiet and not knowing anyone but I was nowhere near as nervous as I use to be with unfamiliar surroundings.

Perhaps signs of things to come??

All it did was rain but I got on with it!! Grabbed a more casual jacket as it had a hood!!

Sunday Night was defiantely a night to relax and prepare for the nw adventure!!

I am really excited about the journey I am now on.

Posted in About Me, Health and Beauty

Influx of old posts 😁😁

As previously mentioned I use to run another blog for my beauty business.

I was aiming to keep these seperate as I didn’t want people to think I was throwing my business in their face.

But this is me and this is what I do alongside studying and my full time job.

I’m hoping it will give a full picture of me and my life but as of today all the old posts are posted and the other blog is closed.

Posted in About Me, Health, Health and Beauty, Life

04-January-2016 – My Brow Story and the Long Road Ahead

So for many years I have hated my brows, I have tried doing them myself or getting them waxed at salons, only once have I ever had them in a shape I was truly happy with.

I have been avoiding any plucking or waxing and been growing them since October (my Last Wax) and first haircut in a long time.

Since October they have become little bushes that have started to thicken slowly and build slightly uneven shapes – another reason why I really Hate my Brows at present!!


 So one of my first tasks of 2016 is to sort out these brows and get ready to use my brow gel and liner – eagerly sat in my makeup bag awaiting me!!

I will update you on my brow story.
In the meantime if you fancy heading over to my page you can bag yourself your own brow gel and liner set, buy them separately or save and get the pair as a set, available in Light, Medium or Dark!!