Posted in Books, TV, News and Social Media, Life, Mental Health

Aril 26th, 2018 – Daily Prompt=Cur….

I definitelyย had to google what this word meant.

Cur = Apparently it means a ‘mongrel’ or ‘mixed breed dog’ but can also refer to an unfriendly dog.

I love dogs. Some of them do scare me a bit and they can do bad things, but so can humans. I always remember being around dogs, growing up we definitelyย always had some cats (sometimes a lot of cats) but I remember having dogs in my life, some years there was only cats but for the majority of the time there were also dogs ( and rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs and fish!!).

Jessie and Nala
How can you call them rats??

Now I am married and we have our own home and 2 dogs. They are not mixed breed dogs but people still call them ‘rats’.ย The truth is they are my babies, especially as I have no living children and have fertility difficulties. They help my mental health so much and I think if they weren’t here I would be a more impulsive and even sadder person.

Some people call themselves a “people person” – whilst I love helping others and being around people I would also prefer to be surrounded by my dogs, they are less judgemental and understand feelings. If I am having a quiet/sad/melancholy day people tend to just not say anything, whereas a dog always knows.

They always know.

Jessie and Nala 002

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Posted in Books, TV, News and Social Media, Life

We have been bestowed with a prince!!

Today flags are flying toย celebrate a new prince.

Congratulations to Kate, Duchess of Cambridge and Prince William; The Duke of Cambridge – And of course to Prince George and Princess Charlotte!!

It is also exciting that Princess Charlotte, whose position in line to the throne will not change with the birth of her little brother; due to a change in the law, has made history.

Screen Shot 2018-04-24 at 13.29.12
“Kensington Palace Twitter Account”

I have not added any pictures of the new Prince as I feel it is not my right to share them, but if you browse the news websites and the Kensington Palace twitter account, then there are plenty of images there for you to see. The Prince is beautiful,ย you can see mam, dad, brother and sister in the young Prince. Beautiful children and a beautiful family.

We have yet to hear about the name that has been given to the new Prince, I wonder if Prince George had a different name, would this Prince be called George? He was born on St George’s Day after all? George, Charlotte and ……..

What name will be bestowed to the new prince?? I cannot wait to find out!!

Posted in Life, Travels

Travelling and a broken mallet

Last year we took a road trip, camping around North Wales. We saw a lot of Snowdonia National Park and saw some beautiful views.

Today’s Word Prompt isย ‘Malett’ so I thought I could share a funny story.

You may notice my spelling is “Mallet” – I am using British English Spelling.

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The Dog enjoyed the Trip!!

We had moved to a new site and got busy setting up, including the windbrakers as it was very windy up North!! So there I go with the mallet banging away on top of the pegs and wooden poles and pop, there was a sudden release – the end of the mallet only went and flew off didn’t it!!

I believe it may have been caught on video but I have yet to find itย (it might have even been a Facebook Live!!ย )

Since this trip my life has taken a turn, I do not remember many times I have laughed – today’s prompt meant I had to share this short and sweet story. If I find the video it will be uploaded!!

If you need any tips or places to visit around North Wales –ย Get in Touchย I do not know everywhere but I do know lots of cute little places that won’t break the bank massively and isn’t necessarily easily searchable online.

Quick little funny moment in life-I need more of these!!

Posted in About Me, Life

I got put in Instajail :(

Serves me right for not getting up off my but!!

Yesterday I found myself going through loads of Instagram posts from friends and satisfying videos of sand being cut and Lush items being cut etc….


Then I got put in Instajail – Ooops

Lesson learnt – don’t lie in bed feeling ill all day liking posts on Instagram.

My ban on liking only lasted a couple of hours.

My Bad…. I Love you Instagram

Posted in About Me, Life

New Beginnings, New Job!!

Hey!!

I have been ‘quiet’ the last couple of days!! The reason for that is that I have started my new job!!

Monday Morning came and went really quickly and I got home and saw the first positive signs that my meds where helping my anxiety.

  • I walked straight into new building (once someone opened the door)
  • I had no shakes
  • No nerves

I was nervous in the sense of being quiet and not knowing anyone but I was nowhere near as nervous as I use to be with unfamiliar surroundings.

Perhaps signs of things to come??


All it did was rain but I got on with it!! Grabbed a more casual jacket as it had a hood!!

Sunday Night was defiantely a night to relax and prepare for the nw adventure!!

I am really excited about the journey I am now on.

Posted in About Me, Health, Health and Beauty, Life

04-January-2016 – My Brow Story and the Long Road Ahead

So for many years I have hated my brows, I have tried doing them myself or getting them waxed at salons, only once have I ever had them in a shape I was truly happy with.

I have been avoiding any plucking or waxing and been growing them since October (my Last Wax) and first haircut in a long time.

Since October they have become little bushes that have started to thicken slowly and build slightly uneven shapes – another reason why I really Hate my Brows at present!!


 

 So one of my first tasks of 2016 is to sort out these brows and get ready to use my brow gel and liner – eagerly sat in my makeup bag awaiting me!!


I will update you on my brow story.
In the meantime if you fancy heading over to my page you can bag yourself your own brow gel and liner set, buy them separately or save and get the pair as a set, available in Light, Medium or Dark!!


http://www.youniqueproducts.com/StacieMai
 

Posted in Health and Beauty, Life

26-November-2015 – Braving YouTubeย 

I finally plucked up the courage and make my first video online.

Let me take a selfie!!

Excuse the mess, just moved house, half of it is in boxes, the rest is unpacked and put away or in piles.
My video skills need work, as does my planning, although I don’t want to do a video and be reading from a piece of paper.
Anyway here it is….

Enjoy ๐Ÿ˜€

https://www.youniqueproducts.com/StacieMai

Posted in About Me, Life, Mental Health

I may be overweight now, but I was Anorexic

I loved school, but I went through hell during Secondary School.

At about aged 14 I started a diet; I was maybe about 10 stone to start and was reasonably fit (I did a lot of sport) even battling with my knee.

When I hit about 8 stone I was getting changed in school for PE and a few of the girls asked if I had lost weight and said I looked good – at this point I felt good because I upped my exercise and limited calories to reach this goal but it dawned on me that these girls actually must have noticed what I looked like before- for them to comment on my weight now.

This made me quite self-conscious, making me concentrate on my weight even more.

Then started the downward spiral to a lighter weight.

I cut back more and more, I did a paper round after school and I use to say that I got food when I was out or that I would grab something later, most of the time my mother left it at that, sometimes I did eat a little later, other times I had some little pasties and I would have one in the evening.(sometimes the bag of 10 would last 10 days, these were tiny little pasties – looking back I am surprised they never went mouldy or made me ill ๐Ÿคข)

Within these 3 weeks or so I had gone from 10 stone to 7 and in a further week I dropped to about 6 stone – or 38kg /83 lbs.

I was pale and looked ill but nobody noticed!!

I lived on hardly any food and my energy levels started to drop – what brought me back to my sense was the fact that my dentist said I had to have a tooth out under general anaesthetic and because I was 14 I would need an adult with me. So the fear of anyone (especially my mother) finding out forced my to put on 3 stone. I was 9 stone when they weighed me before my general and nobody battered an eyelid.

My 15th Birthday was a few days later; I don’t have any photos of me at my lightest – but this is me at 9 stone on my birthday;

Me at the front in the brown top!


Now I am a lot heavier, I get extremely self conscious and most days I wish I was anorexic again, but I know that is not the way to healthy. My PCOS started at 15, not long after putting my weight back on and due to my metabolism, PCOS, shift work, blood sugar evens and numerous other reasons I am struggling to lose the weight.

Dieting is a culture these days and I don’t want to be a bad example. Exercise and healthier eating is the way forward. And might I add me needing to lose weight is now a medical need and I have to be a “healthy BMI” for some hospital treatment – I am doing it for my health as advised by Medical Professionals.

Please don’t suffer in silence if you are suffering with an eating disorder, you don’t have to be thin to have an eating disorder Speak to someone, reach out and acknowledge you need help.

Posted in Life, Mental Health

SSRI’s and Anxiety

My first experience of using a SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) also known as antidepressants, was October 2016.

I began on Citalopram 20mg daily and didn’t notice any change, so my dose was upped to 30mg daily – a few days later I was washing my hair in the shower and thought a lot of hair was by my feet, dried my hair and realised the reason a lot of hair was on the shower floor was because my hair had ripped and fallen out, leaving me with a messy, uneven hairstyle and dodgy looking fringe (I didn’t have one before that shower!). 

Saw a GP and explained; the Doctors reply was;

“What is more important to you, you anxiety or your hair?”

Safe to say I stopped those pills a few days later.

I was re-referred to my Primary Mental Health Team and they advised speaking to the GP to find alternative medication to deal with my anxiety – I realised because of them that I don’t deserve to be unhappy and if there is something that can help balance my chemicals and help reduce my anxiety then why not try it.


I have just taken pill number 19 of Sertraline – another SSRI. I am on 50mg daily.

I have noticed more bad days lately and the possibility is that I now have depression as well as my anxiety.

I am so tired, stressed and the past few days I have been soaking with sweat and just want to lie down all day.

This could be a mixture of the new meds, this heat and humidity and tiredness/stress in general.

It is early days I guess – sometimes doses need changing and it could be another few weeks before I notice any change. 

Posted in Life, Mental Health

You are wondering what is different?? #springclean

So had a lie in, also had a nap and now I am wide awake!!

So I thought ‘ Why don’t I do that spring clean on my blog, make categories and change the theme,’

So that is what I did….

Say bye to the old, 


And hello to the new, 

I have also added several new categories ๐Ÿ˜€


I have been wanting to do this for ages, so now I am a bit happier .๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Posted in Life, Travels

Our North Wales Trip….

So we planned a nice trip away, my Doctors advised me to stay off work until we had gone away then start fresh when we got back.
(At this point I have been back at work for two shifts, I have a shift tonight then a few days off!!)


Each little pin is somewhere we went, 700 miles or so later and we got back home.

Ended up gaining 2kg but it is now gone, so must have been water retention as I was very puffy and swollen ๐Ÿค”. 

And the main reason I focus on my weight is because I have a weight criteria for my hospital treatment.

 

Adjusting the filofax due to big news!!

NEW JOB!!

I have loved my current job but I got to the point where I had to put myself, my health and my future goals first. So now I’m working my notice period and I am petrified but excited about the new chapter ahead ๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ˜… 

And Septembers Uni modules have been picked and registered ๐Ÿ““๐Ÿ“”๐Ÿ“’๐Ÿ“•๐Ÿ“—๐Ÿ“—๐Ÿ“™๐Ÿ“š

Not the cheeriest of module choices but they are really interesting.

So now what?….

  • Work Notice,
  • Start New Job,
  • House Buying,
  • Sorting out – Spring Cleaning,
  • Finish my EMA for Uni (externally marked assignment – equivalent to an exam),
  • Carry on my journey of trying to get better, share and raise awareness and try my best , because that’s the best I can do.  

Here’s some pics of our trip. I’m aiming todo some  reviews of campsites and places soon so will post here once I’ve had time to do them ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Stacie-Mai xx

Posted in About Me, Health, Life

Been away for a while….here is a quick update ๐Ÿถ๐Ÿถ

I have reminded myself this week that even though my writing is not great, my grammar could be improved and not many people view this blog; it helps me, I also like to think that even if only one person reads my blog and gains some hope, happiness or a feeling that someone else feels the same way as them then I will feel that I have done something positive.

A lot has been going on since my last set of posts – The last update included my (long drawn out) appendicitis, my post op complications , anxiety and the battle with my weight.

Well…..

  • We Moved House (Again),
  • I got sick (Again),
  • My weight went up (Again),
  • I finished my Duke of Edinburgh Gold Award and Diamond Challenge Award,
  • Turning 26,
  • I joined the gym!!,
  • I got sick (yet again),
  • A bunch of my hair broke and fell out,
  • I came off my anxiety meds,
  • I started my sleeve tattoo,
  • Instagraming,
  • University,
  • My new venture……..

I Will be posting massively over the next day or two in order to catch up with everything!!

Things are changing, Time to make a change and do what is right for me….

Got to love a Big Bang Theory Quote #sheldoncooper

Posted in Life

What to watch next….

So I have spent a lot of time at home lately as you know if you read my blog.

In that time I have watched:

  • Almost every episode of Friends (lost a few discs to other cases)
  • Downton Abbey (although Now TV said 9 seasons, season 9 was a xmas episode and I swear there is a series missing)
  • Greys Anatomy (finished on Season 11 this morning but the next seasons aren’t there, apparently there is more?)

What else is out there? 

Should really be concentrating on revision for my exam June 2nd and finishing my huge assignment due in at the end of the month (this determines whether I Fail the module) 

I just don’t have the energy ๐Ÿ˜ฆ 

What is wrong with me ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Posted in Life

I’m Back!!

I realise I have been missing in action for about 8 months.

I also realised I may not have many followers but I have a few important followers and writing a blog was an aim I want to keep! It also keep me sane ๐Ÿ˜›

NEW UPDATE TO BLOG

I have gone through my old posts and updated them with my name : I was remaining anonymous, however I realise that I must be true to myself and allow others to read the blog of a real person, not a false name!

So this is me ๐Ÿ‘‡๐Ÿผ

  
My name is Stacie-Mai ๐Ÿ˜€

Although I do currently have BLUE HAIR !!

  
In the past 8 months (or so) a lot has changed:

๐Ÿ  We have moved house

๐Ÿฅ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿผ๐Ÿ“ž๐Ÿš‘  I have a new job

๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ’„ I run my own business (be prepared for the post regarding this)

๐Ÿ“ I have another blog – About my business

โš– Finances have improved greatly
As always my weight has been an issue, up and down, but my best achievement has to be the 50 INCHES from all over my body I have lost. I feel that an achievement in itself!!
Stacie-Mai xx

Posted in Life

Let’s find me a hobby….step 1 of new beginnings

I have decided that I won’t get the family I have longed for since my teens without making a big change. My change will begin with finding a hobby, socialise and interact with others because my feeling about myself, my situation and my body are overtaking my mind, I am not in a great financial situation but I need to set some money aside and do something for me. Which benefits the family in the long run.
I have chosen Yoga.

My decision comes from always being interested in yoga. I have been suffering with back pain due to an incident about 6-8 weeks ago and want to stretch and strengthen my core muscles. I need to lose weight and gain confidence and find a way to deal with my stress and recent work related stress and short temper.

Thanks to PCOS I have not had a period since February 23rd 2015. Becoming less stressed, upset and concentrating on something meaningful.
GOALS FOR STEP 1 

  1. Research Yoga
  2.  Finding a group and contacting them (just literally done)
  3. Arrange to do some yoga
  4. Buy an outfit – don’t think any of mine are suitable. My wardrobe is full of clothes too small, too big, work related or full of holes.
  5. Decide whether I enjoy yoga
  6. Make this a full time change, continue to take part.

A healthy mind makes a healthy body.

I am at work tomorrow for ages!! (Literally at least 12 hours) so will be starting with the library Saturday Morning.

And I will start there. Hopefully there’s a class that fits in with my job starting next week.

Stacie-Mai xx

Posted in Life

Set me up some goals. Life needs to change….now

So……..

I need to change

I hate what I have become and hate the way I look, I need a life and image overhaul. So time to make a plan, or several!!

The several step plan….

  1. Find a Hobby
  2. Sort out job issues
  3. Take control of my lifestyle.
  4. Organisation!!
  5. Weight Control
  6. Nail Biting!!
  7. Baby Making – IVF JOURNEY
  8. Be Happy and find peace.

 

Stacie-Mai xx

Posted in Life

Taking a moment to look at my surroundings

So

It is 01:14 AM

It is raining (again) when it is supposed to the end of May, but the UK being the wonderful country we are it of course is raining. I had leftover takeaway for supper (so much for the healthy eating, but it is the weekend and I am being naughty before forcing myself to behave from Monday).

I am multi-tasking as usual, I have done some rearranging downstairs, I am now writing and chatting to a friend online, watching Friends  and just finished listing a few items on Ebay, which no doubt nobody will buy, even though people are looking for the items!! It really annoys me.

The dog is sat next to me and the wife is away for the night, there are plenty of people living in this area compared to the old house but there are many creepy noises to be heard when alone with the dog in the house, tapping windows, the rain, wind and things falling. This is what happens when I am left alone, freaking myself out for no reason what so ever.

For some strange reason I am wide awake, excited about writing, chatting, watching TV and have an urge to do some Art, however my collection of canvasses are big and paint supply low so that causes problems, I could draw but then things get messy and I get bored eventually when I realise my drawing aren’t as good as they use to be.

I have dreams!! I have ambitions and I am excited about them right now, but this excitement will soon turn to disappointment , my moods are up and down nowadays. I would love to write a book, and share my stories, but I am a terrible writer and would not know where to start. I wish to draw and paint and share the thoughts in my writing to images that inspire. I wish to share and teach. I want to be an inspiration. I would love to have the confidence to be in pictures and on TV, but looking at myself now, TV would never happen.

I feel excitement and busy, but deep down upset and alone. It is hard to explain but you can be in a room full of people but inside you are so alone, feeling that you could be shouting and waving about but not one person would batter an eyelid.

It is hard to live everyday life when things knock you down, thoughts knock you down. I knock myself down.

Stacie-Mai xx