Today’s accomplishment was the fact that I did the dishes, well the dirty ones we have used anyway.
I have not included all the stuff still packed in boxes that has to be washed before it is put away, purely because it has been in boxes so long it is dusty and needs a good soak!!
I still feel like cr*p and my chest hurts, not to mention I still cannot hear out of one ear!! My body hurts, each joint hurts, especially my knees – must be a sign of getting older and being overweight!! With the infection and cough running has been a big no-no so please do not ask how my half marathon training is going!!
On that note, if you can spare any pennies I would massively appreciate any donations to my page ( see link below ) every single penny goes to Mind – for better mental health.
I have been quiet over the last few days and I do have a reason why.
I am so upset and sad with myself. I feel like I have let myself and several other people down. As you may be aware I was due to be in Manchester today, running my 10k for Mind. On a run a few days ago I felt so unwell and turned the workout into a short walk as I could not physically run (I could barely walk!!) By that afternoon I had seen the Doctor and had been sent straight to the hospital to see the surgical team.
I felt so unwell, but luckily I did not need to stay in hospital (plus they had no beds!!) and I went home in the early hours after waiting there for several hours. I am still not 100% now and am waiting for an emergency scan which will hopefully take place tomorrow. Due to the pain, fever and dizziness along with tachycardia (fast heart rate), it was not a good idea to run a 10k race, as well as travel the distance to take part. So I had to make the decision to not take part on this occasion.
I will still run a 10k to raise awareness for Mind, I am currently waiting to hear if I can take part later in the year at a different event or whether I will be deferred to next year. I am due to run both the 5k and 10k Race for Life runs in the next few months as well as other runs.
“I am not defeated, I am inspired!!”
I had to take some time away as I felt like such a failure, but like everyone else, sometimes we need to be reminded that failing to do something does not necessarily make us a failure – we learn from these events and it allows us to heal and build upon life experience.
So I need to take my own advice and not take the negatives from this experience but turn them into positives.
I was in Norway in 2011 when a ‘Man’ Decided to launch an attack. I mourned with Norway as a country and a last-minute change of mind and deciding not to take some time off potentially saved my life!!
I was in London on March 22nd 2017 during the Westminster attack ( We were evacuated from St James Palace and the Duke of Edinburgh Presentation was cancelled).
I was not in Manchester during the events of 2017 and after the events in London last year I decided to avoid big cities but why should I?
I will be going to Manchester next week to run for the Charity Mind . I have not been to Manchester before and I do look forward to going, even if it will be short – I’m sure I will visit again when the financial situation (and anxiety) is better.
When reading about the events that occurred almost a year ago, my heart sank. Not only with fear but with grief. We should share love and peace, not hate and war. This is one reason why I decided to run in Manchester, it is over 200 miles away from my home and there are definitely runs closer to me but I felt it would be right for me to experience such a heartfelt moment for me in a strong and vibrant city that I had not been to before. There will be a silence held to remember those lost last year and I feel honoured that I can partake in this silence. I also hope we can visit the Trees of Hope Trail and leave a message for those lost. If you have not heard of this Click Here.
You may only say that it is ‘only a 10k’ it isn’t a marathon, but to me:
It is a marathon
It will be hard
I will struggle
There is a chance I will be limping for a while after
and I WILL CRY. Not only because of the atmosphere and the reason for being in Manchester, but for me. Over recent weeks I have wished I had not been born, wished I was dead and my anxiety and depression have gotten so bad I have not been leaving the house. Crossing that finish line will be a triumph for me and my mental health.
It may not be much to you, but it is to me. One step closer to my dream of the london Marathon.
If you would like to be amazing and help me reach my fundraising target then please visit my fundraising page (and remember to tick the giftaid box if you are a tax payer)
From the 14th to the 20th of May, Mental Health awareness week is shared across several areas. But the whole month of May is also known as Mental Health Awareness Month. The idea of an awareness month is to allow people to share time together and talk about mental health, as well as identifying factors that can contribute to negative mental health, such as stress and to find ways to talk about it and find ways to improve the negatives and turn them into positives.
Mind is a Mental Health Charity with the ultimate goal of ‘support and respect for everyone with a mental health problem’ (Mind). Check out their website to see the amazing work they do!!
I had a plan for this month to write a letter a day to a person or people who have impacted my own personal health. they are currently in the drafting stage and as of today I am 7 days/letters behind-I will work on that to get them live asap!!
I hope you read them and support my honesty, vulnerability and true experiences.