Posted in Mental Health, Sports and Fundraising

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 20th May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 20 – I am Sorry,

Today I really am feeling sorry for myself.

I should have been in Manchester today. I should be running and remembering those lost last year in Manchester.

But I am not!! And I feel so bad.

I was unwell and sent to hospital, then got sent home in the early hours of the morning to come back for emergency scans and tests, there was no way my body would have held up on the run, but I am determined to run the race – SimplyHealth will not let me defer even with the hospital note so I have to wait until I can put some money aside and wait for 2019 entry and re-enter.

I will get there.

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Posted in Health, Life, Mental Health

Update on my Running

Hi everyone!!

I have been quiet over the last few days and I do have a reason why.

I am so upset and sad with myself. I feel like I have let myself and several other people down. As you may be aware I was due to be in Manchester today, running my 10k for Mind. On a run a few days ago I felt so unwell and turned the workout into a short walk as I could not physically run (I could barely walk!!) By that afternoon I had seen the Doctor and had been sent straight to the hospital to see the surgical team.

I felt so unwell, but luckily I did not need to stay in hospital (plus they had no beds!!) and I went home in the early hours after waiting there for several hours. I am still not 100% now and am waiting for an emergency scan which will hopefully take place tomorrow. Due to the pain, fever and dizziness along with tachycardia (fast heart rate), it was not a good idea to run a 10k race, as well as travel the distance to take part. So I had to make the decision to not take part on this occasion.

I will still run a 10k to raise awareness for Mind, I am currently waiting to hear if I can take part later in the year at a different event or whether I will be deferred to next year. I am due to run both the 5k and 10k Race for Life runs in the next few months as well as other runs.

“I am not defeated, I am inspired!!”

I had to take some time away as I felt like such a failure, but like everyone else, sometimes we need to be reminded that failing to do something does not necessarily make us a failure – we learn from these events and it allows us to heal and build upon life experience.

So I need to take my own advice and not take the negatives from this experience but turn them into positives.

 

Posted in Health, Mental Health

Mental Health Awareness Letters – 3rd May 2018

As May is Mental Health Awareness Month, I had an idea to write a letter each day to a person, or group of people that have had an impact on my own personal health. The first portion of the month has been delayed, however I hope that I will catch up and there will be a daily post. Thank You for taking the time to read these and I appreciate any comments or support you can provide on each post.

Please remember that if you are struggling with your health, both physical or mental, there may be some triggers in these letters-please seek support if you find these letters trigger any distress. Look after yourself!!

Letter 3 – To the people who thought I was ‘Pulling a fast one’ being off work for months because of my appendix.

You may already know that in 2016 my physical health took a turn downhill. Long story short I could have died and felt at my weakest.

Now I heard a lot of gossip (also witnessed it once, unknowingly to them!) and people thought I was pulling a ‘fast one’ to get paid time off.

Luckily where I lived at the time had a downstairs toilet because I literally had to drag myself up and down the stairs if I needed something, I even wet myself once trying to get downstairs to the toilet. I had the district nurse visit me to tend to my infections in my surgical sites (quite common with keyhole surgeries apparently) I cried most days and felt ugly, fat, bloated, worthless and mentally drained.

But people thought I was pulling a fast one because their relative was in and out of hospital and back to work quickly with their appendix. I was back to work 2 weeks after my first keyhole surgery (big mistake and pushed myself too far) but having had a good few weeks of fatigue, infection and illness even before having the appendix removed, the surgeon advised it would not be¬†a quick recovery-my body was physically¬†and mentally drained. When I managed to walk a few doors up to the doctor’s surgery a few weeks after surgery, almost passing out in the front entrance the nurse had to get the doctor to come and “tell me off” for doing too much because I vacuumed once when I spilled a pot of glitter on the carpet.

So to those ‘people’ who thought I was taking advantage of my employer by taking sick pay and sitting at home “doing nothing and making money” – I didn’t see you sending flowers, cards or even popping in to say hi. Your comments really hurt me and coming back to work to face you every day was so difficult, I almost didn’t come back. Then again that wouldn’t have bothered you because you don’t like me anyway.

Think before you make remarks!!